15 Reasons to Buy Fabric

  1. It insulates the closet where it is kept.
  2. It helps the economic recovery.  It is our patriotic duty to support cotton farmers, textile mills and fabric shops.
  3. It is less expensive and more fun than psychiatric care.
  4. Because it is on sale.
  5. It’s not bad for your health.
  6. I’m participating in a contest: the one who dies with the most fabric wins!
  7. It keeps without refrigeration, you don’t have to cook it to enjoy it, and you never have to feed it, change it, wipe its nose or walk it.
  8. I need extra weight in the trunk of my car for traction on snowy, icy roads.
  9. Because I’m worth it.
  10. Like dust, it’s good for protecting empty spaces in the house.
  11. When the big earthquake comes, all the fabric shops might be swallowed into the ground and never be seen again.
  12. Stress from dealing with the Fabric Control Officer (husband) made me do it.
  13. It’s not immoral, illegal or fattening. It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul, and makes me feel good.
  14. Buy it now, before your husband retires and goes with you on all your shopping expeditions.
  15. A yard a day is all the fabric shops of the world recommend to support your habit.